Life Lessons

Hello! Well, in the last two weeks, after reading some things and praying a lot, I have realized that ultimately my focus needs to be in two places: taking life one day at a time and purposing to be less selfish and more others-centered. If I am able to do these two things, I will be encompassing all of my good character goals.

Day by Day: this has always been a challenge for me, because I'm a planner!! I like to know what's coming, be in control of it, and have that controlled plan laid out way in advance. My heart is still learning how to accept the truth that only God knows what is going to happen to me today and tomorrow. My human planning and control only extends so far... the rest is up to Him! I have purposed in the last couple of days to solely focus on the day at hand, leaving the rest to God, and it has been so freeing. Of course, certain things call for advanced planning (i.e. moving - the focus of our life right now) but even that can be done with the mindset that things might not go *exactly* as planned, so flexibility is always key. When I simply focus on the day that I'm currently living through, I am more aware of my attitude and my choices. This awareness is definitely not a guarantee that everything will go smoothly, but if my attitude is in the right place - focused on God and His promise to guide me through every turn in life - then the day still ends on a good note. :)

JOY: the typical acronym that children, brought up in church, learn when talking about selfishness, serving others, etc. "Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself third." As cheesy as this acronym often seems (especially when you've been raised in the church and have heard it in every Sunday School class, VBS week, etc) there is so much truth in it! Tim and I have been reading through a book called "What Did You Expect?" by Paul Tripp and it's about the realities of marriage that many young, married couples naively overlook before they get married. [Note: Tim thought it would be a good idea for us to read this after some discussions that we've had recently about marriage. We are not having any major problems, don't worry :) but it is definitely humbling and we are learning a lot. My mom always says "You never stop learning until you're dead!" so we're just looking at this as yet another tool for learning!] Anyway, the central theme of this book is that no matter what the problems are that surface in a marriage, the root of these problems is almost always selfishness. Ultimately, if a wife is unselfishly putting her husband's needs and desires above her own, he will be more likely to act the same way in return to her (and vice versa). When husbands and wives treat each other the way the Bible instructs them to - unselfishly, with love and respect for each other - the marriage will be a lot happier.

So, in thinking a lot about selfishness and how it plays out in life, I'm becoming more convicted of how selfishness surely would affect other areas of my life besides my marriage. I feel so silly actually typing this out, because you would think that a person like me who was raised on the solid foundation of a Christian home with completely devoted, loving parents, would have learned how not to be selfish a LONG time ago. I mean, surely in some ways I have learned - I share my things with others, I don't *always* demand to have my way - in general I figured I was pretty good at being others' centered. BUT - there are so many ways that I exhibit selfishness that I didn't even realize I was doing until recently. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that I deserve something or I have a right to something and just that very thought is selfish - whether or not it's actually true. I even came to the point of reexamining my very Salvation, realizing that I often act like I have deserved that as well - and I most certainly have not.

All this to say that I am more and more aware of the fact that I am a sinner who does not deserve the grace that my Lord has bestowed upon me, and this makes me more aware of the fact that everyone I know and love is also a sinner and I should treat them with the same grace that God has given to me. No one deserves grace so it's all the more empowering to the person receiving it when it is given. Why wouldn't I want to encourage others with the same grace that my Savior gives me every day??

One day at a time... no selfishness... lots of grace.  Powerful life lessons this week.

Shamefully overdue...

I come to you tonight with the proverbial tail between my legs. I have not been reading Lysa's book for over a month, I have not been following a healthy eating/exercise plan for the same amount of time, nor have I been faithful in prayer for this journey (or anything for that matter).  I feel the need to be completely honest, because I haven't been very good at that lately...

Over the weekend, I was convicted of these and more shortcomings that I've allowed myself to fall victim to as of late. Chief among them is laziness. There's really no other word that encompasses all that I've been struggling with in the last few weeks. Laziness that has become so deep-seeded in my being that I have allowed it to hold me captive from all of my commitments - my eating/exercise habits, my time with God, my marriage, my other relationships... I've just curled up in a "Becca shell" lately and haven't had any motivation to come out.

The opposite of lazy (according to dictionary.com) is "industrious," meaning, "working energetically and devotedly; hard-working; diligent." My focus going forward is to be industrious, to be like the woman in Proverbs 31, to be like the ant in many other Proverbs, to be like other women I admire for being this way: my mother, my mother-in-law, my sisters, many of my friends. I am ashamed of how I've been acting lately - please forgive me if I have particularly hurt you by my actions, or lack thereof.

Lord, help me to be...
industrious
(aka)
active
attentive
careful
conscientious
constant
eager
earnest
persistent
steadfast
studious

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." -Proverbs 31:25-27

Peace

I need to start by quoting the first few paragraphs of this next chapter in Lysa's book because they just make me laugh out of the sheer truth and shame of it all! Read on...

"I roll over and look at the clock. Another day. Beyond all reason and rationality, I slide out of bed and strip off everything that might weigh even the slightest ounce as I head to the scale. Maybe today will be the day the scale will be my friend and not reveal my secrets. Maybe somehow overnight the molecular structure of my body shifted and today I will magically weigh less. 

But no. I yank out my ponytail holder - hey, it's gotta weigh something - and decide to try again. But the scale doesn't change its mind the second time. It is not my friend this day. 

Vowing to do better, eat healthier, make good choices, I head to the kitchen only to have my resolve melt like the icing on the cinnamon rolls my daughter just pulled from the oven. Yum. Oh, who cares what the scale says when this roll speaks such love and deliciousness.

Two and a half cinnamon rolls later, I decide tomorrow will be a much better day to keep my promises to eat healthier. And since this is my last day to eat what I want, I better live it up. Another cinnamon roll, please. (p27)"

HAHAHAHA!!! Ok so it's funny, but really, how many of us struggling with losing weight can completely relate to this vicious cycle?? I know I can and still do a lot of days. I have definitely done the "well, let's take out the ponytail holder and try again" bit and have also taken off my glasses, my wedding rings, blown my nose, cleared my throat, brushed my teeth (hey, doesn't plaque have weight??) - you get the jist - it's a rather pathetic routine.

With that cycle driving a person insane, Lysa talks about cravings being the weakness that talks us into "later" "tomorrow" "next week" "after the holidays" and sometimes just finally giving up instead of making the choice to permanently change. Cravings are powerful, but prayer is more powerful. Thus, the main message of this chapter is to replace cravings with prayer. Reaching a goal weight - looking great, fitting into smaller clothes, receiving compliments from others - is awesome; however, since the point is to make a permanent lifestyle change, the incentive should be just as permanent and more fulfilling than anything. This brings back the point that this is about a journey with Jesus. Replacing cravings with prayer will strengthen my relationship with God and that is more fulfilling and long-lasting than smaller clothes or compliments.

In addition to replacing my cravings with prayer, I also want to replace them with peace. I guess these things go together automatically, because as I'm praying for God to satisfy me beyond my cravings He will take them away and replace them with peace. BUT I want to make a point to pray specifically for that peace. This has been a serious focus of mine this last week because I've realized that I'm just not at peace with a lot of things in life right now. As much as I thought I had accepted certain things, I haven't, and I have been convicted of living in discontent lately.

Lord, grant me peace in all circumstances and in every decision that I make. Guide my eating habits and my thinking habits - may they all please and bring glory to YOU and YOU ALONE! Amen.

Peace, friends! :)