(Warning: long post ahead)
I'm back to 151. I'm going to ask you to take my word for it because posting another failed scale picture is just humiliating. I'm not having health problems, I don't have any injuries preventing me from working out, I'm just not trying.
The introduction to Made to Crave is titled "Finding Your Want To." In this section (pages 11-18), Lysa talks about the parable of the rich man in Matthew 19. She explains how most Christians interpret the meaning of this passage as related to the love of money more than God, so those of us who don't have that problem with money tend to brush it off - "Good thing I'm not rich. Good thing this doesn't apply to me. Good thing Jesus doesn't ask me to sacrifice in this way." Then she says, "Or does He?" and goes on to explain that she interprets this passage as Jesus' way of telling us, "I want you to give up the one thing you crave more than me" - WHATEVER that may be - money, drugs, sex, career....food?! Re-reading this section of the book, more and more statements she makes are really convicting me:
"When Jesus says, 'Follow Me,' it's not an invitation to drag our divided heart alongside us as we attempt to follow hard after God."
"If we want to conquer our cravings, we'll have to redirect them to God. God made us capable of craving so we'd have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone."
"I had to ask God to give me the desire to be healthy."
That last one makes me want to crawl into a hole and cry, because in all of my endeavors to lose weight and be permanently healthy, I've never asked God to give me the desire. I've never asked Him to change my thought process, my heart, my cravings, any of it! This is the part where being brutally honest stings a lot, but it's true. As a Christian, it's easy to quote the verses about taking care of your body and doing all the right things, but honestly coming before my Lord and Savior and admitting failure, asking for forgiveness, and asking for help is one of the hardest things to do... and I'm ashamed that I haven't done it. I know I can't ever make this permanent change in my life unless I ask God to help me, and unless I wholly devote myself to yearning after Him more than I yearn after food and the earthly comfort that it brings.
In view of this reality, I'm not going to hold my sponsors to their pledges to my weight loss. I desire the "want to" to make this lifestyle change, but I know it's going to take a lot longer than just a couple of months. I don't want to hold myself to a time pressured number change - I want to hold myself to a lifelong heart and mind change. When I've reached my weight goal (whenever that may be), I will personally send my own pledge for every pound I've lost to FMSC; however, I'm not going to ask my sponsors to wait that long, because I honestly don't know how long that will be.
I am going to re-read this book, slowly, one chapter per week. I want to spend time soaking in all aspects of this journey and everything that is required of me to succeed. I am going to try to blog at the end of each week. This will take me to the middle of August. I will continue to weigh myself weekly, but I'm going to keep track of this privately. At the end of my study of this book, I will post stats of where I'm at physically; but, I don't want this journey to be a focus on the physical. While I will hopefully see changes in my physical self, I want to focus more on the spiritual changes that are going to take place. These are much more important.
What I need from you, my readers, is prayer. Prayer that I will earnestly and continuously ask my Savior to come alongside me in this journey and change me in more ways than I could ever change myself on my own accord. Prayer that I will pray to Him without ceasing - on the bad days AND the good days. Prayer that I will humbly sacrifice anything and everything for His glory and for the work that He will do in my life.
Journey to a healthier me, taketwo! ten!
I'm back to 151. I'm going to ask you to take my word for it because posting another failed scale picture is just humiliating. I'm not having health problems, I don't have any injuries preventing me from working out, I'm just not trying.
The introduction to Made to Crave is titled "Finding Your Want To." In this section (pages 11-18), Lysa talks about the parable of the rich man in Matthew 19. She explains how most Christians interpret the meaning of this passage as related to the love of money more than God, so those of us who don't have that problem with money tend to brush it off - "Good thing I'm not rich. Good thing this doesn't apply to me. Good thing Jesus doesn't ask me to sacrifice in this way." Then she says, "Or does He?" and goes on to explain that she interprets this passage as Jesus' way of telling us, "I want you to give up the one thing you crave more than me" - WHATEVER that may be - money, drugs, sex, career....food?! Re-reading this section of the book, more and more statements she makes are really convicting me:
"When Jesus says, 'Follow Me,' it's not an invitation to drag our divided heart alongside us as we attempt to follow hard after God."
"If we want to conquer our cravings, we'll have to redirect them to God. God made us capable of craving so we'd have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone."
"I had to ask God to give me the desire to be healthy."
That last one makes me want to crawl into a hole and cry, because in all of my endeavors to lose weight and be permanently healthy, I've never asked God to give me the desire. I've never asked Him to change my thought process, my heart, my cravings, any of it! This is the part where being brutally honest stings a lot, but it's true. As a Christian, it's easy to quote the verses about taking care of your body and doing all the right things, but honestly coming before my Lord and Savior and admitting failure, asking for forgiveness, and asking for help is one of the hardest things to do... and I'm ashamed that I haven't done it. I know I can't ever make this permanent change in my life unless I ask God to help me, and unless I wholly devote myself to yearning after Him more than I yearn after food and the earthly comfort that it brings.
In view of this reality, I'm not going to hold my sponsors to their pledges to my weight loss. I desire the "want to" to make this lifestyle change, but I know it's going to take a lot longer than just a couple of months. I don't want to hold myself to a time pressured number change - I want to hold myself to a lifelong heart and mind change. When I've reached my weight goal (whenever that may be), I will personally send my own pledge for every pound I've lost to FMSC; however, I'm not going to ask my sponsors to wait that long, because I honestly don't know how long that will be.
I am going to re-read this book, slowly, one chapter per week. I want to spend time soaking in all aspects of this journey and everything that is required of me to succeed. I am going to try to blog at the end of each week. This will take me to the middle of August. I will continue to weigh myself weekly, but I'm going to keep track of this privately. At the end of my study of this book, I will post stats of where I'm at physically; but, I don't want this journey to be a focus on the physical. While I will hopefully see changes in my physical self, I want to focus more on the spiritual changes that are going to take place. These are much more important.
What I need from you, my readers, is prayer. Prayer that I will earnestly and continuously ask my Savior to come alongside me in this journey and change me in more ways than I could ever change myself on my own accord. Prayer that I will pray to Him without ceasing - on the bad days AND the good days. Prayer that I will humbly sacrifice anything and everything for His glory and for the work that He will do in my life.
Journey to a healthier me, take
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